| Joke Menu |

 

Mr Handley's Glossary of Maths Terms

abacus
to swear at a Swedish pop group
accurate
a vicar's assistant
addition
what a dinner table has
analyse
Anna doesn't tell the truth
approximate
to vote on behalf of a friend
area
wind-swept open land
binary
identical twins called Harry
budget
what you can't do to an immovable object
centimetre
after shave used to attract young ladies
commutative
an argument whilst travelling
concave
a trickster's hideout
convex
a trickster whose hideout has been found
conversion table
a piece of furniture that folds into something else when you least expect it to
data
make an appointment with a lady
define
received for parking illegally
denary
Rt. Rev. Harry
determinant
an insect set upon a difficult task
diagram
Welsh record player
diameter
Welshman has met a girl
dozen
opposite of one does
elliptical
a kiss
explain
eggs cooked with no trimmings
frequency
often visits Southend
furlong
coat of a Persian cat
hexagon
to exorcise a spell
histogram
antique record player
inverse
poetry
jargon
the vase is no longer here
logarithms
tree trunk used in the percussion section of a dance band
antilogarithm
someone who dislikes such music
mean mode median
Dame Edna's other Christian names
nautical
badly behaved female child
network
your doubles partner's position
number
a female with no feelings
parallelogram
stereo record player
pentagon
release one's anxiety
percentage
100 year old cat
perimeter
male cat has eaten its mate
product
professional dodger
quota
report what a lady has said
ratio
a half nelson
syllabus
idiotic public transport
tangent
make a man sunburnt
topology
two polo ponies
translate
British Rail normal situation
transformation
when the trains do arrive, they arrive in pairs
triangle
doing one's best to become a fisherman
unit
you make a woollen garment
velocity
we mislaid the hot drink
m
James Bond's boss
mm
a thought
cm
instruction to 007
kg
two-thirds of the Soviet secret police
cos x
Soviet troops
tan (cos x)
to beat Soviet troops
S.M.P.
Strike Me Pink






Copyright © G. Jones 2004
Homepage: http://www.fitzfun.smartemail.co.uk